6 Signs of Trauma Bonding with Actionable Remedies

Trauma bonding happens when someone forms an unhealthy attachment with a victim of an event. Know more about the form of relationships and how to get over them. Sufferers cannot able to handle their own emotions in this virulent bonding. Over time they are unable to match energy with each other in a healthy way. Trauma bonding can lead to physical and emotional abuse. Which can cause great damage to both parties involved. Reach out for help if you discover yourself in a trauma bond.



  • A Cycle of Abuse – Abusers don’t necessarily treat their victims badly. They can apologize, pledge to reform, and profess love to keep their relationship. This cycle of tension>abuse>reconciliation>quiet keeps individuals bound because they assume the calm will remain this time.
  • Hoping To Change Them – The abuser’s good times are attempts to cajole the victim into staying. Abusers often make the adjustments their partner desires, only to resume the abuse soon after. There’s a difference between urging your partner to clean up after themselves and wishing they quit assaulting you.
  • Wanting Love Despite the Abuse – The abusers frequently have low self-esteem and a desire to feel loved, even if it’s abusive. Feeling worthless may make someone think no one will love them, so they accept their abuser’s love.

Lack of communication, power struggles, emotional abuse, and lack of trust are reasons why someone loose control over a relationship. It is important to understand what they are and how to overcome them. Abusive or unhealthy relationships impact both in a relationship. You can lessen the trauma bond on your own, but it’s difficult. It’s common to struggle without professional help. As trauma ties form when one person exploits another, not just in sexual relationships.

Just because your pain is understandable, doesn’t mean your behavior is acceptable.

— Steve Maraboli

One partner consistently puts others in danger in a trauma bond. Include making decisions that put their safety at risk. Not setting reasonable boundaries or respect for each other hits back in the compound. The problems of trauma relationships can be endless. From trust issues to extreme jealousy, the challenges in a toxic relationship are many. Although it can be difficult to work through these challenges. It is important to remember that complex relationships are not sustainable to handle without experience.

What is Trauma Bonding?

“Trauma bonding” is a term used to describe the process of developing a strong emotional connection with a person or animal who has experienced a traumatic event. This connection can help to support the individual during times of stress. They can also provide comfort and support in the event that the individual needs it.

Trauma witnesses look dazed and scared. They may not respond to talks and appear detached. Trauma victims often show anxiousness. Trust is key in any relationship. It is difficult to build when one party does not feel secure in their own thoughts and feelings. Trauma relationships tend to be more harmful because they often lack trust.

Signs of a Trauma Bonding

Trauma bonding occurs when two people are bonded because of a common experience or event. This can happen when they are in the same place at the same time, or they have been through the same experience. It can also happen when one person is trying to help the other and the other person is helping them. Some sources of trauma bonding:

  • Domestic violence
  • Rape
  • Natural disasters
  • Death of a loved one
  • Severe illness or injury
  • Witnessing violence

A traumatic occurrence affects the victim’s mental and emotional stability. Trauma isn’t necessarily caused by a traumatic incident. Seeing something from afar can also cause a shock. After a stressful experience, young children must be psychologically assessed. Trauma-related anxiety can include irritability, nocturnal terrors, mood fluctuations, and poor focus.

a. Emotional Trauma Symptoms:

Anger, denial, emotional outbursts, and despair are frequent trauma symptoms. A trauma survivor may channel emotions to family or friends. This is one reason loved ones struggle with trauma. Pushy people are hard to help. Understanding the emotional signs following a trauma helps smooth the process.

b. Physical Trauma Symptoms:

Lethargy, paleness, poor attention, weariness, and racing heartbeat are indications of physical trauma. The victim may have anxiety, panic attacks, or be unable to cope. Physical trauma symptoms can be concerning, therefore it’s important to manage stress following a traumatic experience.

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How to Break a Trauma Bonding

Talk to your partner about what happened. Trauma attachments may create a high-low cycle, but they’re problematic. This can help them understand why you feel so connected to them and can help you process any feelings of guilt or sadness. Seek professional help if you feel like you are struggling to cope with your trauma.

  1. Avoid Blaming Yourself – in a toxic relationship, your partner may blame you for the problems. Guilt, shame, and self-doubt keep them in power and may keep you. Assure yourself that you’re doing the right thing and no one deserves this.
  2. Talk to Loved Ones – trauma ties can be difficult to discuss with family. They may not comprehend your concerns or have warned you for weeks, months, or years. If you can’t get feedback, support, and help from family, seek professional help.
  3. Know What You’re Dealing With – trauma attachments may look healthy but aren’t. The first and most critical step is to identify the relationship as a trauma bond. Be straightforward and honest with yourself.
  4. Keep a Safe Exit Plan – once you recognize a trauma link and get help, plan your escape. Instead of hoping the person can change, flee. Determine a safe, productive plan with caring parties.
  5. Cut Off Contact Completely – it’s doubtful that a trauma bond can be balanced. The relationship’s positives will never exceed its problems. Cut off phone calls, messages, and social media to start a new life.

Treatment of Trauma Bonding

Trauma is the mind’s response to mental harm. Witnessing or experiencing distressing situations can cause psychological trauma. Some people can’t overcome these feelings, but most can. Treatment is needed. Consider drug side effects when deciding whether to treat trauma symptoms.

  1. Medication – Unlike other mental diseases, trauma can be treated with medication. Not all trauma needs medication. Trauma symptoms can be treated. Anxiety, depression. A healthcare expert must determine if the medicine is needed.
  2. Drugs – Drug options depend on the victim’s psychological, physical, and symptom severity. Antidepressants may be used to treat severe, long-lasting depression.
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Wrap Up

Trauma bonding can provide comfort and support to individuals who have experienced trauma. The mechanism for caregivers to form strong emotional attachments to their patients. This bond can help to support and heal the patient after a traumatic event. This type of bonding can help to prevent future traumatic events from happening. It can help to maintain a healthy relationship with family and friends.

Brenda Hannor

Brenda Honnor aims to share actionable tips to revitalize relationships. She has a Master’s degree in Human Psychology and a Ph.D. in marriage counseling. Brenda… More »

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